


Driving with Jack

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-27
Updated: 2006-03-27
Packaged: 2019-02-02 18:39:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12732081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Jack and Daniel decide to drive up to Minnesota to the cabin.





	Driving with Jack

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

"Daniel?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm hungry."

I sigh loudly, you know, the "I hope you are getting this, that you are plucking my last nerve, Jack." Sigh.

"Jack, you just had that enormous breakfast at IHOP only an hour and a half ago. You can't be hungry again that fast."

"Well I am! Look, that sign says there is a Greasyburger stand at the next exit. Let's go there."

"No. I don't want to arrive at the cabin after nightfall. Eat some of the snacks I packed us. That's what they're there for."

I heard him rooting through the cooler like a pig through swill. "I can't eat any of these! Yuck! Rabbit food, Daniel. A big strong guy like me needs substantial stuff, like Cheetoes or chips. Why'd you pack this crap for?"

"I packed that healthy stuff because Janet said you were gaining weight. And your cholesterol is up slightly."

"I am not getting fat, Daniel! She just said that because she has to have something to pick on, and I got good marks for that physical."

"It isn't a college exam, Jack. You were high normal in several worrisome areas."

"Yadda yadda. I get that enough from the doc, Daniel. Can it, we're on vacation. Come on, pull off into the Greasyburger so I don't winnow away to nothing."

"I doubt that you winnowing away will happen anytime soon." Still, can you believe I gave in and pulled into the MacDonald's, which Jack always calls Greasyburger. After all, I needed a refill on my coffee. I know, I'm a total sap when it comes to making my Colonel happy.

One Half Hour Later:

"Danny?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"I gotta pee."

"I told you to go at MacDonald's!"

"Hey, ya don't have to shout. I did go then. It's just the supersized coke has made me need to go again."

"Well you will just have to wait until lunch."

"Come on, Daniel, I really have to go."

"Then pee in your stupid supersized coke cup."

"Okay."

I heard the rustle of Jack undoing his fly and glanced over to see that yes, he was actually peeing in his cup.

"Hey, keep your eye on the road, Daniel. No peeking!"

I sighed again, even louder this time.

Fifteen minutes later:

"Danny?"

"Yes?"

"Where'd you put my gameboy?" 

He was rooting in his backpack again. I ruthlessly squashed the urge to rip the damned thing out of his hands and throw it out the window.

"In the front part of your backpack."

"Oh, thanks."

There was blessed silence other than the oldies music on the radio, for about ten minutes. Then grunts and gyrations from the passenger seat intruded on my highway hypnosis.

"What is it?"

Okay, my voice was sounding a bit grouchy by now. He was driving me crazy, and we still had six hours or so to go!

"My batteries are dying in my gameboy. Did you pack fresh ones?" 

He was rooting again, with more desperation this time.

"You were the one who used it last, Jack. You should have been keeping track. No, I didn't pack fresh batteries."

Item three hundred and twenty-two to add to my surviving a long trip with Jack O'Neill pacifier list: Make sure to have fresh batteries in case gameboy/pocket chess/palm pilot/farty light and sound box goes dead.

"Well what do ya expect me to do if I can't play with my gameboy, Daniel?"

How about stick your face out the window and your tongue out, entertaining yourself like a dog does? No?

"I packed your slinky. Why don't you play with that?" Yes, I was gritting my teeth.

"Aw, ya can't play with a slinky in a car. Hey, that sign says there's a town only ten miles down that road. I bet they have a hardware store. Let's stop and get batteries."

"No."

"Aw, come on, Danny! I'm bored. And I got to go pee again, anyway."

I oversteered the car a bit when I pulled onto the country road leading to the "town" of Boxton, Colorado.

"No more supersized cokes for you when we're on the road, Jack, no matter how much you beg."

"Hey, you aren't my dad, Daniel."

"No, I'm your lover who is about three seconds from tying you outside to the trunk, Colonel."

"Sheesh, you're pissy today."

"I was fine this morning."

"Well, that was because I made a snack outta your morning wood this morning. You were purring when I got done."

I was definitely not purring now, though his self-satisfied smirky tone normally amused me.

I almost jumped out of my seat when I felt his hand on my upper and inner thigh. 

"Jack, what are you doing?" He was rubbing my inner thigh, teasing my dick with brushing touches in doing so.

"I'm entertaining myself until we can get some more batteries for my gameboy."

"Well stop it. I can't concentrate on my driving while you do that."

"Sure ya can, Danny. You're smart enough to do two things at once, aren'tcha?"

His hand had graduated to stroking my now pretty stiff erection, and when he squeezed me, I almost took the SUV off the road! I put on my signals and pulled off onto the shoulder of the road.

"Why are you pulling over?"

"I'm not moving until you stop playing with my dick, Jack. I'm not driving safe when you're doing that to me. I won't start up again until you promise to stop."

"Oh fer crying out loud! Can't a guy have a little fun?"

"Not when the dick you're having fun with belongs to the guy who is driving, Jack. It's not safe."

"Okay, I'll stop. Get going."

Ignoring his pouty tone of voice, I pulled back onto the road, and soon realized that the country highway was rapidly turning into a back-country lane. A very small back-country lane. The sign did say there was a town coming up...

When we finally got to Boxton, it was a one-horse town with only a small country store. The batteries were there, but were priced about the same as the Defense Department's famous toilet seats. There was also a bathroom that looked as though it hadn't been cleaned since President Kennedy was in office. I made Jack wash his hands twice, just to make sure he didn't pick up anything nasty.

Despite griping about the pricey batteries, Jack was finally happy that his gameboy was now working.

Ahhh, blessed silence... 

"Danny, I gotta go again."

That does it! I think I packed Jack's commando knife in the trunk somewhere...

The End, and Merry Christmas!


End file.
